Where do I begin...

So much has been happening lately...I really don't know where to start! Well I suppose I'll start off with some of the more exciting news.
This will be my final week at Toledo Academy Beauty Culture before graduating next monday! Exciting right?! I think so!!! Afterward tis off to le State Board to take my exams for my licens in Nail Technology. I get to make people's nails perty teeheehee. (just imagine me saying that with the goofiest look on my face giggling stupid-ish-ly. And yes I did. I said stupid-ish-ly)
Next! Thanks to the boredom I face at work, the urge to do something to keep me awake while working, the motivation to pick up a pen and notebook again, and a really awesome friend that I saw last Sunday (Carrie Harris is sooooooooooooooooo fricken PRIDE!! i.e Pride = AWESOME!!) I have somewhat gotten back into the swing of writing and will most likely be taking online courses in the subject. And one day when I grow I wanna be a...wait for it...wait for it....ASTRONAUT!!! :D. Betcha weren't expecting that now were ya? OF COURSE YA WEREN'T!!! Unless you're Brandy and you share the same brain with me (which I swear we do, we're practically fricken clones!) But seriously, when I grow up, I think it'd be cool to write and illustrate children's fiction books, as well as adult fiction. I would absolutely love to make that my life!
Thirdly, for those of you that don't already know, I moved from my parents' house to my friend Bethany's house back in with my parents! Where will I go neeeeeeext? Hmmmmm... ENOUGH OF THAT!!!
I have so many thoughts flooding my mind right now that it really isn't funny, however, I also have some funny thoughts running through my brain :D.
And on a more serious note...I have a Manager's Project due by this thursday and I should be working on it yet I am completely side tracked! I guess the first thing that should have been on my mind should have been my Manager's project...which is due...Thursday...<.< don't you judge me. You've procrastinated at one point in time too...I know you have! And if you tell me you haven't I'll just call you a liar xp.
Gosh this ten weeks of school has gone by so fast! I can't believe it'll be graduation time on Monday!!! That is just...intense! Wouldn't you agree? I would if I were you <.<...not threatening you or anything just saying...
*sigh* I told you I have a billion, trillion, bajillion thoughts running through my head. I can't stay on one subject matter...but somehow I always get pulled back into school so I guess I can stay on one subject matter...maybe I'll cut off here until tomorrow...or whenever I'm on here next. Catch my newest and latest bloooooooooog!!! Next time!!!

Tattoo

I have several tattoo ideas that I would like to carry out, each with a special meaning.

1. Wolf in forest walking through horizon: Wolf symbolizes myself coming through the light of my life and embracing that light. It is a sign of trying to see myself for what I really am worth and allowing that to become me. Strong, brave, unique, compassionate, caring, maternal, every quality that I've kept hidden but will now show.

2. Dragons dancing intertwining with a mountain scene behind them: The dragons are my protectors, my warriors. They are the ones that will have my back when no one else does, they will watch over me along with my wolf when I'm sleeping, they will keep an eye on what's behind me when I'm not able to protect my blindside, and they will be the ones that keep my "terrible" past at bay while I focus on the brighter future ahead.

3. Wind Song: My native American Name. It will go where the wolf goes. This name is the name of myself as well as my wolf.

4. Ranunculus plant: Symbolic of my mother. She is my rose without thorns. It has taken me a while to realize but she is a rose without the ability to cause pain, only the sweet fragrance and beauty reside with her. She tries so hard to grow thorns in order to discipline, and teach, but she isn't that kind of person. Hard and harsh don't go with her personality.

5. Hardenbergia plant: Symbolic of my father. It is a very hard and tough vine, but also very beautiful. My father is tough and beautiful. Frustrating but lovely.

6. Wolf paw print with tribal markings: This one is symbolic of feminine strength, once again me coming to myself, and an amazonic sense of self respect, reliability, priority, beauty, and one more time, strength.

7. Snake with wings: This will be a more discrete tattoo depending on the length of my hair by the time I get it.

I'm sorry, but I'm glad.

It took me so long to realize that my parents were right...it will take me even longer to get over this deep rooted feeling of regret. I love them so much, and I know I never want to hurt them again...I have no control over what the future holds, however I will keep praying that I never make the same mistakes as I have made this past while. I will also always thank God (my true father) for the parents he has graciously bestowed upon me. I will ask him to help me realize daily that just because they didn't come packaged and with a bow they are a gift, and they are a priveledge not to be taken for granted. I can't believe what I have done this past summer...despite my teaching and upcoming, I had no idea that I could fall so far. I could never fathom...I can't believe...I feel aweful that I was capable of such destruction...but I plan to try to make it up to them and thank them for all they've done for me inspite of me. There aren't enough words to express the regret I feel and how grateful I am to them. I hope I can try my best to let them know my deepest sorrows, and gratitudes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hXbjktiBwI&feature=related
This song is so beautiful. It's been an inspiration for something I should have done. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long.

Independent...dependent...freedom.

I stayed away in hopes that they would apologize and ask me back... they sent me away in hopes that I would learn a lesson...Nothing was gained from any of it. So now I come back with nowhere to go, tail tucked between my legs like the injured wolf that I am. I can argue my case all I want...argue until I'm blue in the face, and all I will get is the same "Keanu you need to wise up, we're trying to help you, you don't understand, you need to listen to us"...but where do we meet half way if the other party is not willing to hear? Willing to listen?
I didn't go too far...I only stayed with him. I was only to stay for a night, but that turned into an arguement, and out flew the words "Pack your stuff and get out of my house". And so I went. Now, I have no choice but to come back, because I wasn't wanted where I was, which is understandable. When you have no job, aren't going to school, no source of income, who would want you staying with them?
I don't have a straight or clear mind right now. Honestly all I want to do is cry...but I won't. For now I will walk around with what little pride I have left, with my head held high...because although the battle has been waged and lost, I will not give up that which is left of my pride.

MRI, EEG

Everything went fine. No tumors or signs of seizures. But as I'd diagnosed about 4 years ago, I do have Tourettes Syndrome. There is no cure for it, there is no found cause for it. All there is now...medication to help stop the tics, or set them at ease so they do not occur as frequently. I will be on a medication that helps lower blood pressure...but it also helps ease the tics. The lowering of my blood pressure isn't much of a concern for me, considering these tics are the reason that I stop breathing at times...I will be getting an EEG soon though. On September 1st to officially determine that I do not have Epilepsy, haven't had seizures, etc. This next test will be monitoring the electrical signals of my brain, to see if I have a seizure, etc. Hopefully there will be no seizures, but if there are I will let you all know. I'll keep you posted on the results of my latest ailment...although it can hardly be considered the latest being as it has gone on for 12 years now.

Got kicked out...Don't know how to feel about it. But I'm gonna try to do this thing.